Motivation: A Changing Target for Children

Food, food, and more food ... in Patrick's early days, this was a solid motivator. He motivated us to feed him very effectively those first few months.

Then, he learned that certain actions got a certain response from his father ... and, repeating these actions got more response. I would make faces at the dinner table and his laughter and clapping would encourage more interaction.

Later, as he developed he learned the value of certain actions got positive verbal response and clapping ... and, again he learned to repeat these actions.

These learned responses are the beginning of a pattern I can see where we have to be aware at all times of what is motivating him. Is it food, toys, activities? These will change and evolve over time ... eventually, the goal is for him to develop his own internal motivation to do the "right thing" simply because it is the right thing to do.

This moving target of motivation is a learning curve for me as a father and one in which I find myself thinking back to what I believe motivated me when I was younger. And, yes ... it is difficult to remember that far back.

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Getting Involved

This is the second night in a row that we were able to spend time and Grandma and Papap's ... Patrick enjoys it so much! We even had a rousing rendition of "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" with all five of us involved ... yes, Patrick is pitching in now. He runs from person to person, giving a bit to each one of us ... there is never a dull moment. Tonight, he repeated a new activity from last night. Last night, it was getting everyone involved in chasing him around the house ... tonight, we had this activity, but what we saw was that he wanted to play different games and wanted certain people involved. This is when he went to each person that needed to be involved and grabbed a finger, pulling them along. He even checked every now and then to make sure they were still following. Such an amazing child ... knows how to ensure that we sleep well.

Outside Play

Patrick loves to be outside. When he arrived home yesterday, I was just getting finished with some weeding ... he and Jen immediately jumped in to help. We dragged branches to the pile in the back yard. Then, I found Jen and Patrick getting ready for a bike ride. Wanting to spend time with my wife and son, I opted into the ride. We didn't go far, my back and legs were a bit sore at that point ... but we did get out together as a family. The bike seat we have is not the kind I remember as I grew up. Patrick's is pretty close to my seat, in fact my heels hit the lower part of his seat if I am not paying attention. Despite this, we have a lot of fun. He loves to look around and notices things ... at one point, Jen wandered off and he started calling to her until she headed back to what he considered a safe distance. He is also a boy and likes to play. He "high-fived" my back and spent a few minutes pulling my shirt out. I hope I never forget the head-butt...

Terror or Anger

Jennifer and I woke about twenty minutes ago to Patrick crying ... nothing unusual. I asked her to get him since I have to start getting ready for work in about three hours (yes, I have to work on a Saturday). Where things became unusual was the loud, sustained crash, and Patrick's cries rising to a hefty scream. Being the concerned parent that I am ... with visions of his changing table collapsed on top of him, I rushed to their aid. "What was that?" I cried. Jennifer, weakly replied, "I fell down the stairs." With Patrick screaming at the top of his lungs, I think I actually asked her to repeat what she said. I found my wife sitting, with her legs out and my son in her arms, at the bottom of the stairs. Asking if she and Patrick were OK was mixed into confused questioning about what happened. Somehow, her feet went out from under her (we suspect a couple of the leaves that Patrick likes to play with were on the steps). While my real concern was i...

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