Fatherhood

Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak; and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid; one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat and humble and gentle in victory. Build me a son whose wished will not take the place of deeds; a son who will know Thee -- and that to know himself is the foundation stone of knowledge. Lead him, I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort, but under the stress and spur of difficulties and challenge. Here let him learn to stand up in the storm; here let him learn compassion for those who fail. Build me a son whose heart will be clear, whose goal will be high, a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men, one who will reach into the future, yet never forget the past. And after all these things are his, add, I pray, enough of a sense of humor, so that he may always be serious, yet never take himself too seriously. Give him humility, so that he may always reme...

My attitude reflects in my son ... I can see him learning from me daily. In a store last night, I started to get irritated when someone stepped between my wife and I, getting in line a little bit early. This is the same store that I had a major issue with about a month ago, so I wasn't in the greatest frame of mind to being with. This woman noticed me calling Jen (amazingly, it only took calling her about six times, or so) and realized what had happened. Not only did she step back to let me through, but she was pleasant about it and struck up a conversation with Jen and I about Patrick ... This all got me thinking about what Patrick reflects about me ... need to do more thinking on this topic!

One of the cool parts of being a father is when Mama and her son are having one of those incredible moments. I get to watch them ... seeing the look of pure joy in each of their faces. Last night, it was music ... of all things, from a soccer ball. It was one of those children's toys that sings various songs when it bounces. Patrick would whack the ball, smile from ear to ear, then start rocking from side to side with the music. I have watched him rock and dance to music before and this was the most animated (full body ... legs and arms going everywhere). This would have been really cool, but what made it truly exciting was that he was sitting in his mother's lap and she was rocking with him ... with the same look on her face. Oh, the advantages of being a father!

... to a Child There is no question that a child without a father in the home has much greater challenges in their lives than those with a father. Here are some statistics I have seen ... According to the US Census Bureau, 24 million children in America (one in three) live in homes without fathers. Educational Attainment: Kids living in single-parent homes or in step-families report lower educational expectations on the part of their parents, less parental monitoring of school work, and less overall social supervision than children from intact families. (N.M. Astore and S. McLanahan, American Sociological Review , No. 56 (1991) Achievement: Children from low-income, two-parent families outperform students from high-income, single-parent homes. Almost twice as many high achievers come from two-parent homes as one-parent homes. ( One-Parent Families and Their Children , Charles F. Kettering Foundation, 1990). High School Dropouts: 71% of all high school dropouts come from...

Gotta' Run ... Sometimes, there is not enough time in the day to be the best father I can, let alone get my job done. Years ago, I watched a friend's child a few times. This was one of those children you watched with amusement in a restaurant ... always moving and being loud and obnoxious. She was cute, but annoying. This child had no limits and stretched my limits of sanity in only a few hours. I joked to her mother that I was going to duct-tape her daughter to the wall ... simply as a way to keep her under control. Amazingly, we did not stay in touch over time ... I really don't think it was because of this comment, just life. However, it is one more use for duct-tape ... taped to a ceiling fan still sounds like something amusing to see (someone else's child, not mine).