Fatherhood

Not LOUD sounds ... this article is about the gentle sounds of an infant or toddler. Before Patrick was born, I got to hear his heart beat for the first time at the doctor's office ... it stunned me. Here was a new life that Jen and I had created, developing right before us. Then, after he was born we hear a new sound while he was feeding. It can only be described as a coo of contentment. That soft gentle sound was a happy loving noise. As he developed, he started to make noises ... nothing coherent, but we all heard the Mama, Papap, Grandma, and Papas in the noises he was offering. Recently, he has been trying to mimic our noises: a rough "grrr" in his throat as we make engine sounds, "boo" when asked to say thank you. Tonight, he had us in stitches as he realized he could put his lips on his mother's arm and blow ... the constant (over several minutes) "brrappp" had us almost in tears we were laughing so hard. Of course, I had to ...

The day we were let out of the hospital, following Patrick's birth, was one of the most exciting in my life ... and most terrifying. We were taking our son home for the first time ... and, I was responsible for the lives of the two most important people in my life.  I quickly adjusted the rear view mirror so that I could see Jen ... Patrick was facing the rear at that point.  Also, as I drove, I was aware of EVERY movement that the cars around me made ... very few things in my life have affected me as strongly as that drive. We quickly got used to taking him around with us and eventually, he grew out of the infant seat and into a toddler seat where he could face forward.  Again, the mirror got adjusted so I could glance at him as I drove.  I certainly got better at using the side mirrors to monitor traffic. As children go, Patrick is an easy-going child (I know ... at this point). He does, occasionally, get tired of sitting in the car ... at this point...

Being an older (no, not infirm yet ... at least another day or two) father, I've gotten to enjoy quite a bit of time single (not that much fun, looking back) and even more so, being married without children. Now that I'm a father, some things are getting re-evaluated ... the '98 Ford Mustang GT that I fell in love with the first time I drove it, is one of those things. It is a big car ... not much room in the back, but his toddler seat fits. Sort of. The car's fast which he loves ... Mama, not so much when he's in the back seat.  It' a beautiful shade of blue which doesn't compensate for the dislocated shoulder at the hospital trying to reach the parking tag from the driver's seat. I have to admit that I have been re-thinking the Mustang's practicality while sitting in the back seat of my mother's Jeep Patriot with Patrick asleep on top of me (we are stopped at the moment), writing this post. The Mustang would never have worked for this ...

Due to timing (my new job), Jennifer's been handling a lot of the delivery, both to and from day-care lately.  Patrick seems none the worse for wear, but I do miss the look on his face as he recognizes people he knows in the morning and the look of pure joy as he spots me in the afternoon. A few days ago, I got to drop him off and pick him up due to a change in Jen's work schedule. What an experience this was.  The drop off went normal ... it was when I went to pick him up that I got a bit of a shock ... I knew, logically, that Patrick was being moved up to a new room.  Basically, he is still assigned to the infant room, but spends part of the day with the toddlers; getting him acclimated to the new teachers, room, and schedule.  Soon, he will be in the new room for toddlers full time. What I wasn't prepared for was how small and fragile the infants were.  I do remember holding him with one arm and remarking to myself how small and fragile  he was. ...