Skip to main content

Danger of Being a Good Father

Are we as good fathers in danger?

I am not initiating a discussion here about good or bad fathers, but about fathers that simply forget to be good husbands first (which in my mind is a distinct and important part of being a good father).  Our culture has recently begun to push the value of being a good father; which is should be ... definitely, not a bad thing.  But, somewhere in the mix, being a good husband at the same time has gotten lost.

Susan Gregory Thomas' article Are Dads the New Moms? in The Wall Street Journal offered the following interesting finding:
Even as men have made great strides as fathers, however, they can find themselves rudderless as spouses. "We're getting a new cultural script for a 'new dad' but not for a 'new husband,' " says W. Bradford Wilcox, director of the University of Virginia's National Marriage Project. "That married people with children now often refer to themselves as a 'stay-at-home mom' or 'stay-at-home dad' instead of as 'wife' or 'husband' signals that we now prioritize parenthood over marriage itself."
The assumption here is that in becoming good fathers we are neglecting to be good husbands first.  I've always felt that our priorities should be God, Wife, Family, and then Country.

Children are, by nature, unpredictable.  Knowing this, as good fathers, we need to be a source of strength for our spouse ... in being a good father, we can provide the strength and support she needs.  In caring for our children, we must not forget, as well, to ask for help when needed ... even for the trivial things.  Knowing that your partner is there and that you only needs to ask for help is an important part of any relationship.

With God as a solid rock for a family, having a good marriage is the foundation built on that relationship.  Remembering to balance the familial roles is critical, especially when there is only so much time in the day and a child is bound to take a lot of that time ... we must remember as fathers and husbands to dedicate time for our wives.  We absolutely cannot let the light of romance go out of our marriage.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Terror or Anger

Jennifer and I woke about twenty minutes ago to Patrick crying ... nothing unusual. I asked her to get him since I have to start getting ready for work in about three hours (yes, I have to work on a Saturday). Where things became unusual was the loud, sustained crash, and Patrick's cries rising to a hefty scream. Being the concerned parent that I am ... with visions of his changing table collapsed on top of him, I rushed to their aid. "What was that?" I cried. Jennifer, weakly replied, "I fell down the stairs." With Patrick screaming at the top of his lungs, I think I actually asked her to repeat what she said. I found my wife sitting, with her legs out and my son in her arms, at the bottom of the stairs. Asking if she and Patrick were OK was mixed into confused questioning about what happened. Somehow, her feet went out from under her (we suspect a couple of the leaves that Patrick likes to play with were on the steps). While my real concern was i...

Happiness Is ...

Last night was a long night ... Patrick is either sick or having a reaction to something. He has a temperature, is in obvious pain, and has a good rash covering most of his body. We have opted to wait and call his doctor ... rather than a hospital run. They will not do any more than we are with medication for the pain and temperature. But, that is not what I am writing about this morning. What I want to touch on is ... Happiness. Children know something about happiness ... the younger they are the more they show a true understanding of happiness. They are often happy for no reason ... their eyes are open and Mama and Papa are there. I think, in there is something to remember ... sometimes, we need to be happy for no reason. I keep thinking about how easy it is to take the reason that someone is happy. This all came about, not because of Patrick's issues last night, but because of a few blissful minutes when I got back to the bedroom to find my wife and son asleep on t...

"Hello?"

We walked into my parents house ... looking for Papap. "Hello," we called. "'Ello," Patrick mimicked. "Hello," we called again, laughing a bit. "'Ello," Patrick mimicked again, delighted that he could get us laughing that easily. Out in the back yard, he went for the shovel (small blue plastic one I got for him a while back). "Maybe he should go shovel in the sand-box," Papap said ... Off he went to the sand-box, lugging the shovel. Later I asked him if he wanted raisins. Shaking his head no, he headed for the fridge. "Eeze," he said ... Cheese, he intended. His comprehension and vocal capacity is growing by leaps and bounds!