Fatherhood

Having to work late ... I miss my wife and son. I love being there when he gets home ... I see that smile light up on his face as he sees me. I get that first hug and sometimes, even a kiss on the cheek. Some days, I take him out to the Mustang so he can "drive," having to remember to reset all the lights, vents, radio, and mirrors. Other days, he heads straight for the cupboard for food ... it is truly amazing how much food one little man can put away sometimes. Then, there are times ... those truly rare days when all he wants is Papa time. I have to hold him, snuggle with him, and generally have him nearby no matter what I want to do. I miss them ...

As a father, I need to teach my son that an investment in goodness will never fail him in life. I have learned to invest in the goodness of my wife, my children, and our extended family and friends. The once colorful connotation of the word "good" has been bleached out in a culture where we divide shades of gray and define things absolutely. Good in today's terminology is a good spot in line at the grocery store, behind better and best. The good computer only takes a few minutes to load and we might have to wait thirty seconds to access the Internet ... no smartphone in this category. I always remember Gods assessments of the world he made, "And God saw that it was good." This statement was made over and over again as he stopped to ponder his glorious creation. And finally, he stated, "Then God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good." God's own creations are good ... very good, and that is enough for me. An investmen...

Are we as good fathers in danger? I am not initiating a discussion here about good or bad fathers, but about fathers that simply forget to be good husbands first (which in my mind is a distinct and important part of being a good father).  Our culture has recently begun to push the value of being a good father; which is should be ... definitely, not a bad thing.  But, somewhere in the mix, being a good husband at the same time has gotten lost. Susan Gregory Thomas' article Are Dads the New Moms? in The Wall Street Journal  offered the following interesting finding: Even as men have made great strides as fathers, however, they can find themselves rudderless as spouses. "We're getting a new cultural script for a 'new dad' but not for a 'new husband,' " says W. Bradford Wilcox, director of the University of Virginia's National Marriage Project. "That married people with children now often refer to themselves as a 'stay-at-home m...

Having a child at 43 years old is not necessarily something I would recommend. The concept certainly scared me ... just becoming a father was frightening, let alone being older. But, my age has given me a depth of perspective that I'm pretty sure I would not have had earlier in my life.  The whole process has also been the second most amazing experience of my life ... marriage, the first! I would also like to believe that I am more mature (yes, I know there are those that would disagree with me there) and am more than willing to be as involved as Jen and Patrick will allow me to be in his life. I will, most likely, have to put retirement off ... put it also means that I am a bit more financially stable (if only more aware of what that means) than I ever managed in my twenties or thirties. Now, this does mean that I have to focus on living well since I would like to see my grandchildren and be around to get to know them.  I have been watching Patrick interact with my pare...

I was watching " Kung Fu Panda 2 " tonight with Patrick asleep over my shoulder; watching Po as he learned about his parents and who his father really was.  It got me thinking about who my son will be and the pride I will always feel for him. I was also remembering the day he first came into my life. When Jen and I got married, my father told me about his wedding day ... how my mother winked to him as she came down the isle and he knew everything would be OK.  As I saw my bride, she took my breath away.  Literally.  I forgot to breathe.  Partway down the isle, she winked at me (I wasn't the only one that heard that story) and I too knew, deep inside me, that everything would be OK.  Little did I know the journey we were beginning together. At the time, I imagined I knew the height of emotion; of the love in my life.  Boy, was I wrong ... that day, as Patrick struggled to come into the world, I saw a level of love and trust in my wife's eyes that ...