Fatherhood

The Golden Rule I did not just grow up. I was taught ... ... to speak when I enter a room. ... to say please and thank you. ... to have respect for my elders, and to get up off my lazy butt and let the elder in the room have my chair. ... to say, "Yes, Sir," and "No, Sir." ... to lend  helping hand to those in need. ... to hold the door for the person behind me. ... to say "Excuse me," when it is needed. ... and to love people for who they are  and not for what I can get from them . I was also taught to treat people the way that I want to be treated.

OK, I am a father ... My son has THE PERFECT SMILE! Am I just saying that because he is my son ... maybe.  But, it is true. When he smiles, he lights up a room.  It is one of those smiles that you cannot help but notice. When he is smiling at someone, they can feel the love and happiness he feels when he is around them. When he is laughing ... the smile is accompanied by peals of the best laughter. My son has THE PERFECT SMILE. OK, I am a father ... and he is my son!

Tired this afternoon I lay down for a nap... Patrick was right next to me. Several hours later, I got up ... with my son sitting up next to me. While both of us were a bit bleary-eyed, we both felt much better. Dinner was accompanied by grandma and papap ... what more can you ask for in a day! What an amazing feeling ... such a little man enjoying time with his father!

You would think that the creaking floor (loud all over the house, but particularly in front of the crib), the hound dog next door, and the constant lights and sirens at night would be major issues for a child at sixteen months old. Oh, and do not forget the church bells from down the road ... every hour. Apparently not. Sleeping in a different bed, a different brand of diaper, a change in food and drink ... maybe a thunderstorm or two ... Not even close. Now, family that he has not seen in a few days ... that will keep him up and throw off the rhythm. And, the more time he gets around them, the further off the rhythm gets. And, it's all for love ... even at his age, he knows who loves him and returns it with his whole heart. The love of a small child ... what more do we need?

At the doctor's office, Jen found out that the uncomfortable feeling was contractions. Patrick was not quite ready to join us, but we were getting close. Jen woke me at about one in the morning to tell me that her contractions had changed. I asked how far apart they were and was told about forty minutes. What I didn't realize at the time was that she had not cleared the data out on her iPad from the previous day's contractions. She woke me again about five in the morning to let me know that the contractions were about ten minutes apart and it was time to head to the hospital. Excited and a bit fearful, I got everything together and we got on the road. Once we arrived at the hospital, we made our way to the delivery ward. Once in a temporary delivery room, the doctor arrived and we found out Jen was much further along than we expected. The nurse was surprised Jen even managed to walk into the hospital. They quickly moved Jen into a regular delivery room where thing...

Carrying (CCW) as a Father Part 5:   Protecting My Family The final article I am writing in this series circles back to where I started. Jen and I decided that we need to be able to protect our family. When it was just the two of us, we had a lot more latitude in what we could do and when. Now that Patrick is in the mix, to be the best father I can (and hence, the best parents we can) I must be able to protect my family. With my wife's blessing, I got my Carry License and plan to carry when it is appropriate and warranted. I also plan to ensure that she is well trained and has plenty of practice with each of the weapons that we bring into the home. This includes safety ... with a small son in the mix, the weapons need to always be secured properly. Shooting is a sport I enjoy and will continue through my life and will strive to ensure both my wife and son have a healthy respect for the sport and the weapons it involves. Part 1:   Where it Started Par...

Carrying (CCW) as a Father Part 4:   Protecting Myself Having served in the US Army and then worked for almost a decade in the Department of Corrections (as a staff member, not an inmate), I have learned that to protect others, I have to first be able to protect myself. I have also seen both the good and the bad in people. For those that do not believe in a Creator (Good and Evil) ... these are the places where you learn that He does exist and is very active in our lives. I've seen small miracles every day ... God, acting in my life. I have also learned that He has a plan for us. God gives us what we need, not necessarily what we want. This does not mean that we do not strive to become the best person we can ... we absolutely must to fulfill His will for each of us. To do this, I must be prepared to defend myself against those that cannot see the simple glory around them. In protecting myself, planning properly to avoid conflict is an important first step ... but being ...

Carrying (CCW) as a Father Part 3:   Shooting as a Sport I've always loved to shoot.  The military taught me to do it correctly and safely ... they also gave me a bit of a competitive edge to what I do on the range. Shooting is a sport of skill: The skills learned are valuable in other aspects of life. Learning to be safe with a gun or rifle teaches responsibility. Learning to hit a target teaches both self-discipline and self-control. Learning to hold a weapon steady and hit the target teaches concentration. Self-reliance and individual esteem are strengthened because of the individuality in the sport. No one has to sit on the sidelines and watch; everyone can take part. This active involvement is important, because sports are fun when everyone can participate personally instead of watching others. Persons with physical disabilities also can take part in shooting, often right alongside other shooters. Shooting is a safe sport:Injuries are extremely rare ...

Carrying (CCW) as a Father Part 2:   Rise in Violent Crime Just as driving home with Patrick and Jen in the car for the first time made me acutely aware of the vehicles around me, I have also become acutely aware of the volume of crime around us. Having been a survivor in several crimes over the years, my awareness of what could potentially go wrong is probably a bit more heightened than most. I had a driver attempt to run me off the road then follow me to work ... following me to work was not such a huge deal since I was going to report the incident as soon as I got there (and I worked in a prison and knew that several of my co-workers would be in the parking lot). What got me was when the Police Office came to take the report and asked if the other driver was armed ... working in a prison, we dealt with weapons, but not generally firearms. I was shaken up for a few days after this incident. While working at the same place, I rented a cheap apartment (being single, this...

Carrying (CCW) as a Father Part 1: Where it Started Growing up, I think I shot a weapon twice ... rifles, definitely no handguns or shotguns.  I remember shooting a black powder kit rifle that my father built that almost took my shoulder off.  My father also had a .22 that we used to kill a few ears of corn. I did get a much stronger exposure to a variety of weapons while serving in the US Army. Over the years, I expanded on the basic skills I developed ... even to the point of competing now and then.  But, as with most things in life, I drifted away from shooting.  I've always seen "range time" as something of a group activity, so the idea of heading out to the range by myself seemed odd.  The fact that I wasn't shooting was certainly not a lack of interest ... more that I just let life get in the way. About six months before Patrick was born, I asked Jen what she wanted for Christmas.  And, even though we had talked about her learning to shoot ...

In a glass, in a sports bottle ... in a large tub, in a small tub, in a sink ... in a plastic pool, in a regular pool, in the ocean ... Patrick loves water. He'll climb in, have us lift him in, now and then, fall in ... sometimes we hold him over the sink with the water running as he puts his hands in.  We'll cup some water to wash off his face as his tongue comes out to get a drink (very cute by the way).  Patrick loves water. I'm told that at the pool the other day, Jen got into the pool with him on her shoulder then walked Patrick around the pool (he was tired at the time).  He loves the water so much that he fell asleep. A few days ago, I walked into the bathroom to see Patrick sitting in the sink, facing the mirror ... two of him, playing in the water and having an amazing time. If he's put into the sink, he'll stand for a bit, but generally he enjoys sitting there playing in the water.  We showed him the water coming from the hose outside the other d...

... in my Child. I really don't want him to be a character ... I want to help him develop "strength of character." I have always enjoyed the challenges in my life, or more correctly I enjoy solving the issues that arise.  I love solving complex problems in situations that call forth my personal strengths ... ingenuity, imagination, teamwork, experienced judgment, persistence, and will power.  Every day at work, I solve problems through the exercise of these strengths.  I know that the greatest challenge I face will be raising my child well. Knowing this, I realize that there is no clear cut path that I can take when faced with the challenge of being a good father to Patrick as he grow and develops ... and no single correct path I need to take to "solve this problem." I need to remember, as Patrick grows up, to  encourage  him rather than being just a critic in his life.  I know that it is tempting at times to focus on the mistakes of others, whil...

Due to timing (my new job), Jennifer's been handling a lot of the delivery, both to and from day-care lately.  Patrick seems none the worse for wear, but I do miss the look on his face as he recognizes people he knows in the morning and the look of pure joy as he spots me in the afternoon. A few days ago, I got to drop him off and pick him up due to a change in Jen's work schedule. What an experience this was.  The drop off went normal ... it was when I went to pick him up that I got a bit of a shock ... I knew, logically, that Patrick was being moved up to a new room.  Basically, he is still assigned to the infant room, but spends part of the day with the toddlers; getting him acclimated to the new teachers, room, and schedule.  Soon, he will be in the new room for toddlers full time. What I wasn't prepared for was how small and fragile the infants were.  I do remember holding him with one arm and remarking to myself how small and fragile  he was. ...

Watching a life develop into a person is a truly amazing experience. My son loves to hug people that he knows (this may apply to people he doesn't know, but we keep a pretty close leash on him at this point, so it's hard to tell).  Patrick has been generous with his hugs since he was just a few months old.  At this point in his life, he even understands when we ask him for a hug.  It is very cute and makes everyone feel wonderful. Since I've always been the kind of person that fully enjoys a good hug, I have certainly enjoyed this part of becoming a father. As he's grown and developed, the hugs I've truly grown to enjoy are those where Jen and I are hugging and Patrick lets us know he wants involved.  With his arms stretched toward us and a beautiful grin on his face, the intent is unmistakable.  Once we pick him up, he gets an arm around each of us and pulls hard, bending in, and warming our hearts.  Even more recently, when one of us has been holdin...

I was watching " Kung Fu Panda 2 " tonight with Patrick asleep over my shoulder; watching Po as he learned about his parents and who his father really was.  It got me thinking about who my son will be and the pride I will always feel for him. I was also remembering the day he first came into my life. When Jen and I got married, my father told me about his wedding day ... how my mother winked to him as she came down the isle and he knew everything would be OK.  As I saw my bride, she took my breath away.  Literally.  I forgot to breathe.  Partway down the isle, she winked at me (I wasn't the only one that heard that story) and I too knew, deep inside me, that everything would be OK.  Little did I know the journey we were beginning together. At the time, I imagined I knew the height of emotion; of the love in my life.  Boy, was I wrong ... that day, as Patrick struggled to come into the world, I saw a level of love and trust in my wife's eyes that ...