First Day of Daycare

Patrick's first day of daycare showed me how truly terrifying being a parent can be.

Jennifer and I made arrangements at work so we could both be there as he was dropped off. We walked him in and handed him over, along with several months worth of clothing and food. He was in tears (yes, afraid of being abandoned at several months old), his mother was in tears (afraid he would hate her ... logically knowing he cried because he loved her), and I was fighting to keep the tears at bay (being the good, strong husband ... man, was that painful).

We got as far as the car before Jen's waterworks started up again. I held her ... for what seemed like hours, letting her take strength from me. All the time, I was hiding the weak feeling in my knees.

Eventually, we got to work.

Then, the phone call ... it was Jen, picking him up. Another phone call ... they survived the five minute car ride home (first time without me). Another call ... he was happy and feeding.

Finally, my work day ended and I arrived home and got a chance to hold my son. Not a big deal since I had been back to work for a few weeks already ... a huge deal since there had been so much emotion throughout the day.

Over dinner, we shared the simple fears ... yes, Jen was afraid she would not recognize our son when she went to pick him up at daycare ... and, yes she did recognize him.

Patrick slept solidly through the night that night, as did his parents ... as we do on most nights when he is in school.

I've kind of hoped that all of this would get easier, but since Jen mentioned the fear not recognizing Patrick when picking him up ... I've felt the clench inside me now and then.

My father stopped in a while back for Father's Donut Day at the school, since I could not make it. He had fun and had some awesome stories to share. He asked me how I manage to drop Patrick off at school ... apparently, Patrick thought he was there to pick him up and was very upset when his Papap left him there. My advice was simple ... I wait until Patrick is not looking and run, otherwise I will be debating whether to go back and get him from school for the rest of the day.

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Terror or Anger

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Fatherhood

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