Motivation: A Changing Target for Children

Food, food, and more food ... in Patrick's early days, this was a solid motivator. He motivated us to feed him very effectively those first few months.

Then, he learned that certain actions got a certain response from his father ... and, repeating these actions got more response. I would make faces at the dinner table and his laughter and clapping would encourage more interaction.

Later, as he developed he learned the value of certain actions got positive verbal response and clapping ... and, again he learned to repeat these actions.

These learned responses are the beginning of a pattern I can see where we have to be aware at all times of what is motivating him. Is it food, toys, activities? These will change and evolve over time ... eventually, the goal is for him to develop his own internal motivation to do the "right thing" simply because it is the right thing to do.

This moving target of motivation is a learning curve for me as a father and one in which I find myself thinking back to what I believe motivated me when I was younger. And, yes ... it is difficult to remember that far back.

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Terror or Anger

Jennifer and I woke about twenty minutes ago to Patrick crying ... nothing unusual. I asked her to get him since I have to start getting ready for work in about three hours (yes, I have to work on a Saturday). Where things became unusual was the loud, sustained crash, and Patrick's cries rising to a hefty scream. Being the concerned parent that I am ... with visions of his changing table collapsed on top of him, I rushed to their aid. "What was that?" I cried. Jennifer, weakly replied, "I fell down the stairs." With Patrick screaming at the top of his lungs, I think I actually asked her to repeat what she said. I found my wife sitting, with her legs out and my son in her arms, at the bottom of the stairs. Asking if she and Patrick were OK was mixed into confused questioning about what happened. Somehow, her feet went out from under her (we suspect a couple of the leaves that Patrick likes to play with were on the steps). While my real concern was i

"Hello?"

We walked into my parents house ... looking for Papap. "Hello," we called. "'Ello," Patrick mimicked. "Hello," we called again, laughing a bit. "'Ello," Patrick mimicked again, delighted that he could get us laughing that easily. Out in the back yard, he went for the shovel (small blue plastic one I got for him a while back). "Maybe he should go shovel in the sand-box," Papap said ... Off he went to the sand-box, lugging the shovel. Later I asked him if he wanted raisins. Shaking his head no, he headed for the fridge. "Eeze," he said ... Cheese, he intended. His comprehension and vocal capacity is growing by leaps and bounds!

Happiness Is ...

Last night was a long night ... Patrick is either sick or having a reaction to something. He has a temperature, is in obvious pain, and has a good rash covering most of his body. We have opted to wait and call his doctor ... rather than a hospital run. They will not do any more than we are with medication for the pain and temperature. But, that is not what I am writing about this morning. What I want to touch on is ... Happiness. Children know something about happiness ... the younger they are the more they show a true understanding of happiness. They are often happy for no reason ... their eyes are open and Mama and Papa are there. I think, in there is something to remember ... sometimes, we need to be happy for no reason. I keep thinking about how easy it is to take the reason that someone is happy. This all came about, not because of Patrick's issues last night, but because of a few blissful minutes when I got back to the bedroom to find my wife and son asleep on t

Fatherhood

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