10 Days Older than Dirt

Having a child at 43 years old is not necessarily something I would recommend. The concept certainly scared me ... just becoming a father was frightening, let alone being older. But, my age has given me a depth of perspective that I'm pretty sure I would not have had earlier in my life. The whole process has also been the second most amazing experience of my life ... marriage, the first!

I would also like to believe that I am more mature (yes, I know there are those that would disagree with me there) and am more than willing to be as involved as Jen and Patrick will allow me to be in his life. I will, most likely, have to put retirement off ... put it also means that I am a bit more financially stable (if only more aware of what that means) than I ever managed in my twenties or thirties.

Now, this does mean that I have to focus on living well since I would like to see my grandchildren and be around to get to know them. I have been watching Patrick interact with my parents and it is truly amazing. There is a bond there that is truly wonderful.

I am learning to get up at all hours (thankfully, I did that most nights anyway), change diapers (some experience there with nieces and nephews) with lightning speed, and pass food on in amazement ... not just how much he eats, the gusto with which he inhales food, but also with his ability to cover himself in such a short amount of time. There hasn't been a meal recently that did not require at least a pass under the sink. I know this doesn't have much to do with being an older father ... but it has been amusing.

What has been good, during his antics, is my ability to stay calm and not get irritated ... which is certainly something I've developed as I've gotten more mature (older, I know). The experience of being a father is not one I was sure I was ready for, but as I watch this amazing young man grow ... I am looking forward to every moment, even if that means being the father that is "older than dirt."

Comments

Terror or Anger

Jennifer and I woke about twenty minutes ago to Patrick crying ... nothing unusual. I asked her to get him since I have to start getting ready for work in about three hours (yes, I have to work on a Saturday). Where things became unusual was the loud, sustained crash, and Patrick's cries rising to a hefty scream. Being the concerned parent that I am ... with visions of his changing table collapsed on top of him, I rushed to their aid. "What was that?" I cried. Jennifer, weakly replied, "I fell down the stairs." With Patrick screaming at the top of his lungs, I think I actually asked her to repeat what she said. I found my wife sitting, with her legs out and my son in her arms, at the bottom of the stairs. Asking if she and Patrick were OK was mixed into confused questioning about what happened. Somehow, her feet went out from under her (we suspect a couple of the leaves that Patrick likes to play with were on the steps). While my real concern was i...

Building Character

... in my Child. I really don't want him to be a character ... I want to help him develop "strength of character." I have always enjoyed the challenges in my life, or more correctly I enjoy solving the issues that arise. I love solving complex problems in situations that call forth my personal strengths ... ingenuity, imagination, teamwork, experienced judgment, persistence, and will power. Every day at work, I solve problems through the exercise of these strengths. I know that the greatest challenge I face will be raising my child well. Knowing this, I realize that there is no clear cut path that I can take when faced with the challenge of being a good father to Patrick as he grow and develops ... and no single correct path I need to take to "solve this problem." I need to remember, as Patrick grows up, to encourage him rather than being just a critic in his life. I know that it is tempting at times to focus on the mistakes of others, whil...

Solo Papa

I have got my son by myself until Tuesday night ... not truly by myself, but it feels that way. Jen is at a conference from Sunday to Wednesday ... and I get to be a solo Papa! I do have to be at work at six in the morning and daycare opens at seven ... so Papap is pitching in to get Patrick to school. But, other than that, he is all mine. We had a fun time last night ... dinner with Papap, then he got hungry again once we got home (don't forget the pretzels he tried to get into ... all over the floor). We got a bath ... smiles and laughter all around. Toward nine in the evening, he was getting tired and obviously looking for Mama (who usually gets him to sleep). I tried all kinds of things and gave up after about thirty minutes and threw him in the back of the car and drove around until he dropped off ... then, he slept all night! More fun to come ... one day down and two to go!

Fatherhood

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