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Helpless Father

I felt helpless and he was helpless ... what an amazing way to start a life.

"I think what scared us the most was they hand you this helpless thing, wheel you down to the car, and wave goodbye as you drive off.  And, there is no owner's manual; nothing to help you with the next 18 years." (J. Higgins) 
Wow ... there's more than a little truth there.

 The first few days in the hospital were pretty good.  There were plenty of people to help, both hospital staff and family stopping by ... they'd even take him (happily) if we needed rest.

 I did learn, while we were there, how protective I could be.  Patrick was circumcised.  And, almost an hour after they took him for the procedure we walked down to get him.  Big mistake.  Apparently, we should have waited ... the doctor had finished just before we arrived.  As the nurse applied an ointment, Patrick let out a wail unlike anything I've ever heard before or since.  Had the doctor been within arms length, I probably would have decked him.  That scream hit some primal nerve deep within in my head.

 Then, as in Johnna's quote, we got walked (Jen was in a wheelchair until we got outside) to the car ... I will say that the hospital staff did an amazing job making sure we were as OK as possible before we left.

 Very quickly it was just us ... I don't think I've ever driven so carefully and been aware of all the other cars around me, as well as both of my precious passengers.  Only a few decades to go ...

 I am a guy after all, as well as a father ... who really needs an owner's manual, we can figure it out.

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Location: Columbus, OH, USA

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