Fatherhood

This morning was unusual. Patrick woke at three in the morning and was still up and about when I got up for work at five. While there was nothing unusual to this point, having him join me in the bathroom as I got ready for my work day was ... I was closing the door and turning on the lights, when the door opened back up and there stood my son. He joined me. I put him on the counter with his feet in the sink while we brushed our teeth. I left him to his mother as I got into the shower. Patrick quickly opened the door to the shower. "Patrick, Papa's going to get cold in there," his mother intoned. I told her that it was warm enough in the bathroom. No water was splashing out, so I had few concerns. I passed toys to Patrick, only to have them thrown back at me. All fun and games! Then, he wandered off for a few seconds ... and the toilet flushed. So much for a warm shower! All in fun. What an amazing way to start the day ...

His visit with Grandma and Papap was cool. We played with everyone ... kind of bouncing in between. We ate dinner. This went well until I gave him Grandma's old cell phone (deactivated, should only be able to dial 911 ... waiting for that one). Once he got the phone, there was no interest in food. You have to remember that he has always been fascinated with cell phones, but is usually monitored very closely and rarely gets to hold it for long ... and, he can tell the difference between the real one and the fake one ... this one was real! Eventually, we got the phone away from him and he did eat ... Later, after more playing, he turned to his Grandma and waved goodbye. He then proceeded to give out hugs and kisses. When asked, he indicated that he was ready to go home ... rapid head nod (Yes). He indicated the same when asked if he wanted to come back tomorrow. I guess he was ready to go ...

Tonight it was three slices of "Eese" (cheese for those not familiar with the linguistics of small children). There would have been a fourth slice if Papap had not recommended a string cheese as an option. Patrick was more than willing to take it on. Then, he headed for the raisins; almost finishing one box (the large box, not one of the bitty ones that's gone in seconds) ... before heading for the unopened box. Mixed into all this was at least one "Ooose" (juice ... hang in there). I really think he was ready to take on the unopened box ... he was trying to sneak it out the door as we left. Hilarious ... a child trying to sneak out a box that was about half his size out the door! Upon our arrival at home, he started in on the cheese curls before settling on a meal of Chef-boy-ardee 'ronis. Two juice containers later and we finally allowed Mama and Papa to get us ready for a bath ... he needed it after all that food. Oh, and did I mention the t

Are there good parents, great parents, ... bad parents? I recently saw parents that took their two young daughters to a concert. These two girls were not just bored ... they were in some pain; the music was very loud. Thankfully, one of the security personnel stopped by about half way through the show and dropped off ear plugs for the girls. Were these bad parents? Probably not ... I suspect they made one bad decision (to take the girls to the show) and made it a bit worse (by attempting to stay). Part of me can understand the decisions; the tickets were over seventy dollars each ... but, part of me does not understand the decision to let the cost of a ticket over-ride the health of their kids. Many parents, most likely, fall into all these categories at one time or another. As I am learning, being a parent is not a one-time thing, it evolves and changes over time.

Patrick woke crying in his crib. Since Jen is on a quarter break, she got up and tried to get him back to sleep. Unfortunately, this was turning out to be one of those nights where something is wrong ... and we have no clue what. She brought him to bed with us ... which usually works. Not tonight. I rolled over to the cries of my son. I suggested medication; Jen agreed and went to get them. That is when Patrick got livid. Something was wrong ... and now, it was worse; Mama was gone. As he leaned her direction ... arms out, I carried him down the stairs looking for Mama. When we reached the kitchen, Jen and I swapped Patrick for the medication ... I think Jen got the better deal. We quickly got the medication into him ... Patrick then leaned forward for his step-stool ... yes, I know ... kind of unusual. Once on the step stool, he was reaching for the fridge. I placed the magnetic teddy bear near him. Patrick gave me an odd look and pushed it toward the bottom of the

We walked into my parents house ... looking for Papap. "Hello," we called. "'Ello," Patrick mimicked. "Hello," we called again, laughing a bit. "'Ello," Patrick mimicked again, delighted that he could get us laughing that easily. Out in the back yard, he went for the shovel (small blue plastic one I got for him a while back). "Maybe he should go shovel in the sand-box," Papap said ... Off he went to the sand-box, lugging the shovel. Later I asked him if he wanted raisins. Shaking his head no, he headed for the fridge. "Eeze," he said ... Cheese, he intended. His comprehension and vocal capacity is growing by leaps and bounds!

Last night, we had a continuation of a previous game. Patrick joined me as I was getting ready for bed. I leave early for work, so I am often getting ready before my wife and son. It looked like he wanted to lay down with me ... what it became was a game of "bounce on Papa." In this game, he sits up (often helped up by Jen or myself) and he then slams his head back into my chest or stomach ... Jen is often concerned for my well being, but in reality I am generally not in pain, more surprised as my ongoing laughter does not give me time to prepare for the next hit. He did get one or two good hits on my sternum ... just knocking the wind from me ... making me laugh even more.

Tired this afternoon I lay down for a nap... Patrick was right next to me. Several hours later, I got up ... with my son sitting up next to me. While both of us were a bit bleary-eyed, we both felt much better. Dinner was accompanied by grandma and papap ... what more can you ask for in a day! What an amazing feeling ... such a little man enjoying time with his father!

The tractor ... we can always climb on, but not when it is turned on ... that would be scary. The car ... steering and moving all the buttons and levers ... nothing scary here. The big-wheel ... only the original; the new ones are cool, but only the original is the best. Swedish-Fish ... how many can we shove in at one time ... The broom ... so we can sweep up the mess we just made. The computer ... how many times has he turned this one off while I was working on something?

I missed him ... I missed my wife. I got invited to a Rush concert last night and headed over to meet the friend I was going with right after work. We had dinner, a beer before the concert ... an awesome experience with a band I like very much ... a beer after to let the traffic die down, then I headed home. Arriving at one o'clock in the morning, there was very little family time. Thankfully the weekend is here!

We had a visit to one of the local malls recently ... they have a very nice play area for the children with a padded floor and a "space" theme, shuttle and all. There are things to climb on and through ... and, as far as Patrick is concerned, the coolest part is that the shuttle has pilot and co-pilot seats with steering wheels. He immediately headed for the "cockpit" and waited patiently as child after child (many of them significantly larger than him) jumped into the seat. I stepped over after a few minutes in the hopes that some child would give him a chance at the pilot's seat. No luck ... they certainly didn't care and their parents were doing nothing , as well. Patrick, getting bored noticed that he could crawl through the body of the shuttle ... all cool until he got boxed in by several children (again, not small) heading toward him from both sides. This is the point where I stepped in ... especially since I could see that the pilot seat was a

The help of other parents is always appreciated. Jen and I have gotten all kinds of advice ... from the practical to the insane (generally, these come from parents to non-parents). Yesterday, at church, I think we got our first true help from a parent ... and we don't even know who she is ... Patrick was getting a bit antsy when the woman in front of us reached into her bag and pulled out two children's books. She turned a bit and handed them to us saying, "I've got a whole bag-full." Later on, she swapped out these two books for two more ... incredible. In the seventeen months since he was born, this is the first real assistance we have gotten from a parent (that wasn't being paid for the help). Very cool ... I wish we had gotten her name.

Patrick has been learning ... so fast! He has been expanding his vocabulary and correlating activities so fast ... it is sometimes funny to watch and always exciting. Jen picked up a toy train the other day ... one of those ten dollar, battery operated things you find at the drug store. It plays several songs and tows it's two cars in a tiny circle. On the cars, two animals can be mounted ... one white with a blue base and one yellow with a yellow base. The activity, once the train was home and put together, was to attempt to put the right animal into the right car ... each animal as a differently shaped based; a bit of a challenge. I found myself pointing out the base and then the car ... and he promptly took the animal in the other hand and tried to put it in the car I had indicated (for the other animal). All this was hindered by the fact the train was moving and he had to wait for it to come around the track to try again. He'll get it I'm sure, but it will b

Today was a good day ... other than the computer dying. Patrick had a wonderful day ... playing with Mama in the morning, then church with family in the afternoon ... lunch with Grandma and Papap, then a nap while we waited for Best Buy to change out the power supply on the computer (I know, with my expertise, why pay? ... sometimes, the last thing I want to do is work on a machine in my time off) ... two hours later, they told me they couldn't do anything. I took the computer home and swapped out the video card and we are back up and running. I know ... a power supply is not a video card, but it was pretty obvious to me that there was something wrong when the video card fan and heat sink fell off. Patrick helped a bit ... distracted me while I waited. What a wonderful son. We just got back from Grandma and Papap's, playing the the tree covered back yard ... swing, sand, water fountain ... all the things a young boy would love!

This morning was incredible ... starting the day, with my wife and seventeen month old son in bed with me. Patrick was rolling (more like sitting up and falling) from one pillow to the next. At times, he grabbed my hand and get me to tickle him ... often until he was turning red from laughter. At other times, he wanted bounced; face down on a pillow as I pushed on his back, over and over. The really cool part was when he was grabbing at my back ... almost like getting a massage. Then, he took it a step further and took his Mama's hand and placed it on my back. Having him scratching one part of my back while Jen massaged other parts was really cool ... Such a simple start to the day was glorious ... one that I hope gets repeated to some degree as the years go on.

Last night was a long night ... Patrick is either sick or having a reaction to something. He has a temperature, is in obvious pain, and has a good rash covering most of his body. We have opted to wait and call his doctor ... rather than a hospital run. They will not do any more than we are with medication for the pain and temperature. But, that is not what I am writing about this morning. What I want to touch on is ... Happiness. Children know something about happiness ... the younger they are the more they show a true understanding of happiness. They are often happy for no reason ... their eyes are open and Mama and Papa are there. I think, in there is something to remember ... sometimes, we need to be happy for no reason. I keep thinking about how easy it is to take the reason that someone is happy. This all came about, not because of Patrick's issues last night, but because of a few blissful minutes when I got back to the bedroom to find my wife and son asleep on t

The long hours are catching up ... "stir crazy," loss of focus, ... of memory. Having just survived THREE DAYS as a father by myself ... yes, I know, some kind of record or something, right? For some reason, the Christmas-tale, "Twas The Night Before Christmas" has been ringing through my mind. Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. What I would have given for that extra bit of sleep. I definitely appreciate everything Jen does for me and I certainly hope that I extend the same amount of effort to her. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hoped that St. Nicholas soon would be there. On top of caring for Patrick, I had a death at work to deal with ... a close, personal friend is now watching out for my son and his son (on the way). In the back of my mind has been a constant fear ... a clarion bell that I only managed to keep silent through herculean effort. This monologu

At sixteen months old, Patrick has been introduced to baseball ... Reds versus Pirates, last night. Papap and I drove down with Patrick to Cincinnati to meet Mama and Grandma (they were at a conference). It was Patrick's first game, so he got a First Visit Certificate ... pretty cool. We had tickets in left-field ... good location, but they included free hotdogs, popcorn, peanuts, and drinks! With a son that loves hotdogs and popcorn, he was in heaven, even before we threw in all the other stuff ... It was 9/11, so there were a variety of military, law enforcement, and emergency services present ... very cool! There were parachutists from the US Army, 101st Airborne ... Patrick's head was pointing straight up for almost ten minutes. There were fireworks ... not a lot, just enough to make Patrick nervous ... yet able to enjoy the show. The game was great and having my whole family there enjoying it with me was even better. I have to tell the story about the food, b

My to-do list has been magnified to previously unimaginable proportions ... it used to be "honey-do" list (honey, do this). It has become a to-do list of survival ... but thankfully, only for about twenty-four more hours. Jennifer had to go to a conference. I opted to take care of Patrick ... get him to school, get him from school, dinner, a bath, then put him down to sleep. Repeat. Repeat again ... done. Simple, right? Not so ... School entails getting up, hopefully without waking him up (there is no fall back if he wakes while I am in the shower). Get him ready for school ... not so bad, but try diapering a child that likes to sleep on his stomach. Plus, we have the added constraint that I have to get him to "my" father's because I have to be at work an hour before daycare opens. Picking him up from school ... not so bad, except for the activities after school ... we will avoid those in this article. Let's just say these are life events, n

I have got my son by myself until Tuesday night ... not truly by myself, but it feels that way. Jen is at a conference from Sunday to Wednesday ... and I get to be a solo Papa! I do have to be at work at six in the morning and daycare opens at seven ... so Papap is pitching in to get Patrick to school. But, other than that, he is all mine. We had a fun time last night ... dinner with Papap, then he got hungry again once we got home (don't forget the pretzels he tried to get into ... all over the floor). We got a bath ... smiles and laughter all around. Toward nine in the evening, he was getting tired and obviously looking for Mama (who usually gets him to sleep). I tried all kinds of things and gave up after about thirty minutes and threw him  in the back of the car and drove around until he dropped off ... then, he slept all night! More fun to come ... one day down and two to go!

Yesterday was a long work day ... I would have said a long day at work, but I was there, headed home, then had to return in the evening to work with the evening shift. I got home early in the afternoon and basically did nothing. I tried to nap ... to no avail. When Jen got home with Patrick, I basically had time to eat dinner, then head out the door again. The truly painful part was Patrick and Jen standing on the front porch ... with Patrick screaming, reaching for me as I drove off. I heard his screams until I well out of sight. According to Jen, as soon as he realized I was not coming back right away, he stopped yelling ... turned around and started playing with the doorbell and the screen door. His discomfort lasted significantly less than mine did ... I was ready to head home for hours. What focus!

Jennifer and I woke about twenty minutes ago to Patrick crying ... nothing unusual. I asked her to get him since I have to start getting ready for work in about three hours (yes, I have to work on a Saturday). Where things became unusual was the loud, sustained crash, and Patrick's cries rising to a hefty scream. Being the concerned parent that I am ... with visions of his changing table collapsed on top of him, I rushed to their aid. "What was that?" I cried. Jennifer, weakly replied, "I fell down the stairs." With Patrick screaming at the top of his lungs, I think I actually asked her to repeat what she said. I found my wife sitting, with her legs out and my son in her arms, at the bottom of the stairs. Asking if she and Patrick were OK was mixed into confused questioning about what happened. Somehow, her feet went out from under her (we suspect a couple of the leaves that Patrick likes to play with were on the steps). While my real concern was i

Today, I have been reminded of the fragility of life ... and how precious it truly is. We lost a friend (and co-worker) at work ... doing the job he truly loved. It was a tragic accident that has stunned us ... "numb" is the word I heard, which is very fitting. I know that he is not truly gone ... but, he has definitely left a hole in our lives that cannot be replaced. And, he will be missed. He was a good friend; one of those rare individuals that you become friends with instantly ... I felt as if I knew him for years and will definitely miss him. He was a unique individual ... always had a smile on his face, found a moment or two for each individual going by, he truly loved his job and all the people around him. I am not sure where all of this is heading ... how we will all cope at work; day to day, I expect. I do know that will certainly cherish each moment with my family and friends, and take some of what I saw in my friend and hopefully share some of that spiri

Daycare ... I remember Jennifer wondering if she would remember what Patrick looked like the first day she had to pick him up. She did remember, he did get home, and it has been relegated to one of those silly, irrational fears. I had another one yesterday. Driving home, I go by another daycare in the area ... one we looked at and did not choose. Mostly because the one we selected was significantly better for our needs ... What I saw struck me ... there were two women on one side of the building with about twenty children that looked as if they were kindergarten age or older. Two of the girls playing were pulling the matting off the ground and tossing it around as the women (watching the kids?) sat against the building in the shade. Around the corner of the building (where the adults could not see) were about eight children that looked about Patrick's age (sixteen months). There was a fence, not only around the outside of the play area, but separating the side and front o

After I got home yesterday, we decided to take a walk (might explain why I fell asleep so early after a LONG day at work). We headed over to a tiny playground a few blocks away. It has a covered pick nick table and a kids area where they can climb up a metal and plastic structure and select one of two slides to take down. Of course, my son LOVES this ... it was a bit wet (having actually rained recently) and he got thoroughly dirty. Up the ladder, then down the slide ... over and over and over and over; interspersed with moments of laughter! On the walk home, he pushed the stroller most of the way ... running ahead of us when he was not pushing the stroller. I crossed the yard to the front door and tried to get him to come along ... apparently, the yard is still a bit difficult to walk on; he stayed on the sidewalk and driveway. Too much fun!

Last night was a marathon; playing with his cousins ... running around the house, chasing and getting chased. He was also carried on shoulders, riding the big-wheel, and being pushed or pulled in the plastic red wagon ... although, not necessarily all at once. At one point, Patrick came upon Sylas playing with a jet plane toy ... he was pulling it back and letting it run forward across the room. Patrick had the presence of mind to snatch the plane (Sylas missed by inches) and run away. He headed straight for Chris (the oldest cousin) and handed the plane off which then became a good game of keep-away. Toward the end, Chris dropped to the floor and got mobbed by Patrick and Sylas ... with laughter all around. Patrick slept well last night ... as I believe all of them did! Watching them play was so much more fun ... I believe more fun than any other children I have watched in the past ... mostly because my son was so involved.

I sat down on the couch with Dr. Who on ... a Sunday morning, a bag of pretzels, a Dr. Pepper, and my wife and son getting breakfast. What could be better. Well, I was about to find out that sharing my pretzels with my son, having my Dr. Pepper walk off as an experiment (he had never tried it before, but our taste-buds are pretty close), and the remote stolen and the channel changed to a shopping network was infinitely more fun. On top of all this, I got to tickle Patrick, play soccer with him, and even shower together (my first shower with my son ... that was interesting). What an amazing day the Lord has made!

The speed at which my son is learning is phenomenal ... he is learning new skills and making linkages and connections at an incredible rate. Each day, we see him learning more and more. Today, he was listening to directions ... "Find grandma," "give this to Papap," "follow Mommy." All directions were followed with very little hesitation. I also heard that he looked over to find Papap "resting his eyes" while watching football. He turned to Grandma and held his index finger to his lips ... "Shhh." What an incredible experience, blessed to be able to watch and hear about his development every day!