An Italian Mother

I saw this one a few days ago ... HILARIOUS!

Mrs. Ravioli was visiting her son Anthony for dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Maria.

During the course of the meal, his mother could not help but notice how pretty Anthony's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her even more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mother's thoughts, Anthony volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." So Anthony sat down and wrote an email:

Dear Mama,

I'm not saying that you 'did' take the sugar bowl from my house; I'm not saying that you 'did not' take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Anthony

Several days later, Anthony received a response email from his mother which read:

Dear Son,

I'm not saying that you 'DO' sleep with Maria, and I'm not saying that you 'DO NOT' sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.

Love, Mama

Moral: Never lie to your Mama . . .

Comments

Terror or Anger

Jennifer and I woke about twenty minutes ago to Patrick crying ... nothing unusual. I asked her to get him since I have to start getting ready for work in about three hours (yes, I have to work on a Saturday). Where things became unusual was the loud, sustained crash, and Patrick's cries rising to a hefty scream. Being the concerned parent that I am ... with visions of his changing table collapsed on top of him, I rushed to their aid. "What was that?" I cried. Jennifer, weakly replied, "I fell down the stairs." With Patrick screaming at the top of his lungs, I think I actually asked her to repeat what she said. I found my wife sitting, with her legs out and my son in her arms, at the bottom of the stairs. Asking if she and Patrick were OK was mixed into confused questioning about what happened. Somehow, her feet went out from under her (we suspect a couple of the leaves that Patrick likes to play with were on the steps). While my real concern was i...

Morning Rite

This morning was unusual. Patrick woke at three in the morning and was still up and about when I got up for work at five. While there was nothing unusual to this point, having him join me in the bathroom as I got ready for my work day was ... I was closing the door and turning on the lights, when the door opened back up and there stood my son. He joined me. I put him on the counter with his feet in the sink while we brushed our teeth. I left him to his mother as I got into the shower. Patrick quickly opened the door to the shower. "Patrick, Papa's going to get cold in there," his mother intoned. I told her that it was warm enough in the bathroom. No water was splashing out, so I had few concerns. I passed toys to Patrick, only to have them thrown back at me. All fun and games! Then, he wandered off for a few seconds ... and the toilet flushed. So much for a warm shower! All in fun. What an amazing way to start the day ...

"Hello?"

We walked into my parents house ... looking for Papap. "Hello," we called. "'Ello," Patrick mimicked. "Hello," we called again, laughing a bit. "'Ello," Patrick mimicked again, delighted that he could get us laughing that easily. Out in the back yard, he went for the shovel (small blue plastic one I got for him a while back). "Maybe he should go shovel in the sand-box," Papap said ... Off he went to the sand-box, lugging the shovel. Later I asked him if he wanted raisins. Shaking his head no, he headed for the fridge. "Eeze," he said ... Cheese, he intended. His comprehension and vocal capacity is growing by leaps and bounds!

Fatherhood

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