More Self-Control

My understanding of developing self-confidence and self-esteem is that indiscriminate praise with actually undermine a parents attempts at moving the child forward. Having said that, it is near impossible to not praise every activity when everything is new and challenging for a new child.

Praise that allows a child to see that they are developing skills appropriately actively works at helping them develop a mindset where they are willing to take on more challenges. What I am hoping to develop in Patrick is a "growth mindset."

Where I see a true challenge as a parent is developing "self-control." It is one of the most important skills I can teach my son, more so than intelligence, when it comes to achievement: academic or otherwise. I tend to avoid looking at what researchers are doing ... one points left, while the other points right. Thus, I find myself thinking about things like development of delayed gratification (I know, this is me talking ... I am the worst at delayed gratification).

I need to focus on allowing him to build on what he is doing to control himself. Watching what calms him will allow me to focus on helping him build his own strategies for self-control. Firm guidance is important, but allowing him to develop his own strategies is even more so.

Also, he needs to engage in physical experiences and games, rather than sitting still for extended periods of time. Most children learn best through hands-on activities ... makes sense.

Right along with physical experiences and games, there needs to be opportunities for play ... not just academics. Part of being a child is having fun ... in this, I need to remember to encourage his interests, to promote and build on them.

And, with all these means of promoting and developing self-control, I have to remember to help him set and achieve goals ... not impose my own goals on him. This has to apply to both short term and long term goals.

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Fatherhood

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