08 July 2012

Danger of Being a Good Father

Are we as good fathers in danger?

I am not initiating a discussion here about good or bad fathers, but about fathers that simply forget to be good husbands first (which in my mind is a distinct and important part of being a good father).  Our culture has recently begun to push the value of being a good father; which is should be ... definitely, not a bad thing.  But, somewhere in the mix, being a good husband at the same time has gotten lost.

Susan Gregory Thomas' article Are Dads the New Moms? in The Wall Street Journal offered the following interesting finding:
Even as men have made great strides as fathers, however, they can find themselves rudderless as spouses. "We're getting a new cultural script for a 'new dad' but not for a 'new husband,' " says W. Bradford Wilcox, director of the University of Virginia's National Marriage Project. "That married people with children now often refer to themselves as a 'stay-at-home mom' or 'stay-at-home dad' instead of as 'wife' or 'husband' signals that we now prioritize parenthood over marriage itself."
The assumption here is that in becoming good fathers we are neglecting to be good husbands first.  I've always felt that our priorities should be God, Wife, Family, and then Country.

Children are, by nature, unpredictable.  Knowing this, as good fathers, we need to be a source of strength for our spouse ... in being a good father, we can provide the strength and support she needs.  In caring for our children, we must not forget, as well, to ask for help when needed ... even for the trivial things.  Knowing that your partner is there and that you only needs to ask for help is an important part of any relationship.

With God as a solid rock for a family, having a good marriage is the foundation built on that relationship.  Remembering to balance the familial roles is critical, especially when there is only so much time in the day and a child is bound to take a lot of that time ... we must remember as fathers and husbands to dedicate time for our wives.  We absolutely cannot let the light of romance go out of our marriage.

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